the blog for those of us that were born in the 80s, grew up in the 90s, and generally hate the 2000s
uh...musings?
*SHOCKER* Ricky Martin is a Homersexual.
Mar 29th
JUST when I thought this day was going to be another waste when it comes to celebrity news. BOOM. We get gold.
And by gold I mean…a story that everyone pretty much knew but was never confirmed.
Apparently Ricky Martin is writing a book? I know, you’re now scouring the internet looking for a pre-order link. Cool out hoss. It gets better. I guess he writes a blog or something on his site? My apologies for not knowing the ins and outs of what Ricky Martin has going on.
Anyways, he included this…
These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn’t even know existed.
What will happen from now on? It doesn’t matter. I can only focus on what’s happening to me in this moment. The word “happiness” takes on a new meaning for me as of today. It has been a very intense process. Every word that I write in this letter is born out of love, acceptance, detachment and real contentment. Writing this is a solid step towards my inner peace and vital part of my evolution.
I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am.
Did you catch that?
I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man.
Yeah, NOT obvious AT ALL.
So good for him.
Nice Tattoo.
I think I’ll go ahead and start some celebrity rumors now. Ricky Martin and Lance Bass are getting it on. I wonder which one is the Top and which one is the Bottom? Oooohhh! Couple Name Game! Lance + Ricky = Licky! See! It’s a match made in heaven! Or hell. Let’s not forget the teachings of Shirley Phelps-Roper!
lazy.
Mar 29th
Yeah, I’ll admit it. We’ve been extremely lazy lately.
No Podcast. No website content. We each have our excuses. Lopez has been in Colorado; no doubt gathering stories to discuss in our next edition of the podcast.
I have been… uh… er… busy? Or just lazy. I’m sorry.
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In what looks like one of the most boring Final Fours ever, Butler vs. Michigan State and Duke vs. West Virginia. Give me the Butler Bulldogs vs. the Duke Ridiculously Whites in the Final game. I’ll be sure to edit this post if that’s not the final so I can look right.
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I had started to type up an analysis of more Sandra Bullock/Horny Farmer news but then I realized that neither of them really have the drawing power of say…a Tiger Woods sex story. So I think I’m going to lay that story to rest. It’s incredibly boring. The best part of any of it was that Michelle Bombshell is a Nazi or something along those lines…and that isn’t even THAT entertaining.
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We’ll try to pump out a podcast sometime soon? Uh…thanks for reading?
Our Apologies to Jesse James.
Mar 24th
Ya know…both of us have said some pretty harsh things about Jesse James in the last few days. But TMZ is reporting something that makes me feel really bad about our bashing…
Apparently this comes from a former high ranking employee of West Coast Choppers or whatever the hell that company is called.
The woman claimed between 2006 – 2007, Jesse James repeatedly made sexual advances, which allegedly included sexual acts.
The woman kept several suggestive emails from Jesse. In one email in 2007, which is included in the file, Jesse wrote to the woman, “Need anything before I split?” She responded, “Some Tums.” Jesse replied, “I have some special fluid that you can drink and it makes it all better ….”
And, she claims after an oral encounter with Jesse, she kept a telltale Clintonesque T-shirt.
yes, you read that right: “I have some special fluid that you can drink and it makes it all better ….”
with that…We formally apologize. Nobody with lines that smooth should ever be bashed for any reason. ever.
Our Profound Apologies.
nobody likes Tim Tebow. nobody.
Mar 24th
A wonderful story coming out of the NFL Combine. For the full article, click here. But I’m going to give you all that matters so feel free to not click that link and stay here on the much cooler Lopez and Sheets dot com.
At the Scouting Combine, the Wonderlic exam is administered to players in groups. The 12-minute test is preceded by some brief instructions and comments from the person administering the test.
Per a league source, after the person administering the test to Tebow’s group had finished, Tebow made a request that the players bow their heads in prayer before taking the 50-question exam.
Said one of the other players in response: “Shut the f–k up.” Others players in the room then laughed.
I’m going to guess that ESPN isn’t going to report this story. Unless they report it as one of the many challenges that the mighty Tebow is going to face in the No Fun League.
awww.
Oh, and this message was brought to you by a Miami Hurricanes fan.
It's All About The U
guns. razors. knives.
Mar 23rd
this post is only going to contain a picture. and most of you probably won’t understand what i’m trying to get across here.
guns. razors. knives.
that is all.
eh…i’ll throw you a bone. pre-order it. i just have a hunch.
March 19th was really boring.
Mar 19th
maybe it was just me.
i mean… we had a few things, i guess? the poor man’s (or rich man’s at this point) Jessica Simpson, Katherine Heigl had some wardrobe issues at some awards thing that i’ve never heard of before. while accepting an award (i can only assume it was for annoying pain in the ass of the year) one of her dress straps broke or something and she had to hold on to her breast/dress. she’s even annoying when something that should be cool, like this, happens.
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one of the ladies who had intimate contact with Tiger Woods’ seed, Joslyn James, launched a website containing all of the text messages that he sent her. i will admit…they’re pretty graphic. if you’d like to check those out then feel free here. just a heads-up, i haven’t managed to get the site to load yet so just click that link assuming it’s NSFW.
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apparently Sandra Bullock moved out of the house she shares with Jesse James a few days ago. probably a good decision. and then yesterday the news “broke” that he was ridiculously sorry and still wearing his wedding ring. reader/listener(?) Scott Taylor commented on facebook and was right when saying that not only is he an idiot for cheating but she’s an idiot too for trusting him. i’m going to include a picture of Jesse James looking like a complete douchebag…which surprisingly isn’t difficult to find.
oh…and that Michelle Bombshell chick is apparently all about some White Power. so she has that going for her.
jesse james is an idiot. or mentally handicapped. or both.
Mar 18th
not that i’m saying Sandra Bullock is ultra hot or does so many rad things that you just want to be around her…but she’s an attractive lady and loaded. oh so loaded.
either way, apparently being attractive and loaded wasn’t enough for the coolest dude ever, Jesse James. after Bullock poured her heart out accepting the Academy Award for Best Actress she went on Oprah and talked about how amazing he is, well, it came out that he’s been cheating on her. with a chick named Michelle Bombshell. creative, i know.
uh…i stand by the title of this entry.
for those of you ridiculous enough to view this site at work…i wouldn’t view this post at work. unless you want awesome + no employment.
Mar 18th
know what’s awesome? yes, Dicktowel.
know what’s awesome-er? Kool Keith doing a song about Dick Towel.
you’re welcome.
